The Inhibition Potion
by Hermione the Slayer
Summary: Fred and George have let out an inhibition potion and everyone's going nuts. Dumbledore and McGonagal? Snape in a dress?
1. chapter 1

BACKGROUND: Fred and George made a potion that has similar effects of being really drunk and let it out through the Hogwarts air ducts. Everyone at Hogwarts has gone nuts losing their inhibitions.  
  
~***~  
  
DUMBLEDORE & MCGONAGAL   
  
"Albus!" said Professor McGonagal, "are you alright?" She ran to his side. She had come up to his office to inform him that the students were behaving very oddly, when she found his doubled over, vomiting.  
  
"I'm fine Minerva. I just seem to have eaten too much candy."  
  
It was then that she noticed it... pounds... no, hundreds of pounds of candy all over his office. Then she noticed something utterly disgusting... a garbage can filled with puke.  
  
"You're not okay" she said matter-of-factly.  
  
"I am most certainly fine! Sour Patch kid? Its muggle candy, but its quite delicious."  
  
"You are too much, Albus." She paused. "I came here to tell you...." But she couldn't remember. Her mind was becoming foggy, as if she had lost the ability to think clearly.  
  
"Maybe you came to tell me that you want some gummy bears?" Dumbledore laughed.   
  
"No thanks" she responded, and then for reasons even she couldn't explain, she dropped her dress robes and said "But maybe YOU want some of this."  
  
Dumbledore just laughed. "I most definitely would like some of that. Accio Viagra!" The bottle of blue pills flew into his hand. "Muggle sex aid. Works better than anything I've found in the wizarding world." He swallowed the pill and a moment later his robes began to rise.  
  
"Wow... I knew you were powerful, but I never realized you were that big!" she said moving around the desk to strattle him. They kissed and were just about to get it on when Professor Snape burst into the room dressed as a girl!  
  
  
~***~  
  
SNAPE  
  
"Wanna join us?" asked McGonagal, not even blinking at the fact that Snape was wearing full makeup and a dress.  
  
"No thanks. I just came to see if you wanted to be in my play. I'm organizing "West Side Story." It's a muggle musical. I'm playing Maria."  
  
"No thank you Severus. Now, as you can see, I'm verrmmmry busmmsy" he said, shoving his face full of chocolate as McGonagal sat naked on his lap.  
  
"Very well. I was going to ask you to be Tony, Albus, but oh well!" Snape turned and walked away, singing as he went. ("I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and right. And I pity... any girl who isn't me tonight!"  
  
~***~  
  
CRABBE, GOYLE, MALFOY (& SNAPE II)  
  
Draco Malfoy didn't know what to say as he walked down to the Slytherin common room and saw his two friends, Crabbe and Goyle in a deep snog on the common room couch. His mouth was wide open. He had no idea they were gay! Yet on some level, he wanted to join them!  
  
'Snap out of it Draco!' he thought as he left the common room, leaving them to themselves. His head began to spin. What was wrong with him?  
  
It was then that he noticed her. She was tall, dark hair, and a really nice ass. Being 6' tall, it was hard to find girls taller than he was. Malfoy liked tall girls. He couldn't see her face, but he figured she wasn't a student. Did Hogwarts get a new faculty member.  
  
"Hey sexy!" he yelled and he whistled.  
  
Professor Snape spun around. "Yes Mr. Malfoy" he replied, but this wasn't his usual tone. Professor Snape was flirting with him?  
  
"Um...." Malfoy didn't know what to say.  
  
"This?" said Snape, pointing to the dress and heels. "I'm organizing a production of the muggle musical West Side Story. I'm Maria!"  
  
"Oh ok." Malfoy began to laugh. Somehow in his messed up state of mind, this made sense.  
  
"Would you like to be Tony?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
"Great, we can go to the potions classroom to practice. The first thing we're going to have to practice is the sex scene!"  
  
Malfoy gulped, but at the same time felt himself growing hard. Together the two men went to the potions room and "practiced" the love scene.  
  
  
~***~  
  
HARRY, RON, HERMIONE  
  
"I win again!" gloated Ron, as he pummeled Harry at chess in the third straight game. He got up to do a little victory dance around the common room.  
  
"Yeah yeah, you just won because I'm a little out of it today. I don't know what's with me. About 20 minutes ago I started feeling fuzzy."  
  
"Actually, I feel a bit odd too..."  
  
"What's that smell?" asked Harry.  
  
"It seems to be coming from the air duct."  
  
Both boys leaned into the air duct, breathed in deeply and began laughing like mad.  
  
"Someone's gone mad," said Ron through hysterics. "Pumping laughing gas into the houses!" But it was more than laughing gas. "I wonder if everyone's feeling this goofy?"   
  
"I don't know. Can you picture Hermione being flat out goofy?" asked Harry.  
  
"No," replied Ron, "But I can picture Hermione being flat on her back getting fuc..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Woah... I was just thinking how much I want to.... Ah hell... how much I wanna fuck Hermione" laughed Ron.   
  
"No way!"  
  
"Oh come on Harry. Tell me you wouldn't wanna hit some of that?"  
  
"Actually, yeah. But it's different. It wouldn't just be sex. I love her!"  
  
"What makes you think it would just be sex for me? What makes you think I don't love her too!?" asked Ron, sounding rather insulted.  
  
"You do? But there's two of us and one of her. We can't both be in love with her? I thought we were the Three Musketeers?"  
  
"But the problem is... one of the Musketeers has a really nice ass!" laughed Ron.  
  
"Yeah, and that's why I'm gonna be her first!" said Harry, now standing up for effect.  
  
"Not if I can help it!" shouted Ron, standing to intercept Harry.  
  
"Get out of my way, you git!"  
  
"Make me!"  
  
"You and what army?"  
  
They suddenly broke out laughing.   
  
"Ya know," said Harry. "Fighting over Hermione is stupid. Why don't we both go get laid!?"  
  
"Ya think she would?"  
  
"Who knows, but it can't hurt to ask!"  
  
The two teenagers rushed up the stairs to Hermione's room. What they saw there shocked them worse than anything they could have ever imagined. Hermione was sitting in front of her mirror and there was hair all over her dresser and floor. She was almost completely bald!  
  
"Hey guys," she said as if nothing was wrong. They both just stared, mouths open, unable to utter a single word. "Oh, this," she said pointing to her hair, which she was more than halfway done with shaving off. "I hate this mop of frizz I call hair, so I decided to do something about it." She turned back to the mirror and continued to cut and shave her hair.  
  
"Um.... I think I'll pass on this one"  
  
"Good idea Ron,"  
  
~***~  
  
  
GINNY (& HARRY II)  
  
Ginny Weasley was sitting in the library, when she began to feel odd. It was almost as if she felt drunk. Suddenly, all she could think about was Harry. She jumped up and ran to find him.  
  
She ran into the Griffindor common room to see Ron and Harry on the sofa laughing hysterically. "I can't believe she shaved her head!" said Ron, laughing so hard he was snorting. If Ginny hadn't been so horny she would have asked how, but instead she simply said "Ron... Professor Dumbledore is looking for you."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, you need to go find him... NOW"  
  
Ron was befuddled, but got up and left.  
  
"Harry," said Ginny, sitting next to him. "I've known you for 7 years now, and you know I have a crush on you. But right now, I don't care about feelings, crushes, Hermione, whatever. I just want you to do me.... here and now! She slipped off her robes. And slithered herself closer to him. She pulled off his robes and began to move towards his now erect penis.  
  
Harry, had he been in a right state of mind, would have had the sense to stop this, but he didn't care. So she let him continue. First, she gave him the best oral sex he had ever had. Then they had mind-blowing sex... all on the Griffindor common room couch. Neither of them realized how much they were shouting and moaning until Hermione came running down the stairs, pulled Ginny off of Harry and began pummeling her.  
  
"Get off of him! He's mine!"  
  
Harry was surprised. He never knew Herimone had feelings for him. He looked at her and laughed. She was now completely bald! Just then Ron came in to find Harry looking disheveled (he had quickly gotten dressed) and Hermione pounding his sister into the ground. He had just caught McGonagal and Dumbledore together, the site in the Griffindor common room made him lose that thought completely.   
  
Instead of doing anything to stop the fight he just laughed. He couldn't even stand up straight after seeing Hermione completely bald!  
  
He looked at Harry. "You just snogged my sister?!"  
  
"Yeah... she was good too... but I think Hermione is a bit jealous." Laughed Harry as the girls continued to fight.   
  
"Girls... what can ya do?" asked Harry and they started to laugh. 


	2. chapter 2

"Attention Griffindors!" yelled Profesor McGonagal, who had recently walked into the room looking very disheveled, her hair a mess. Everyone in the common room got quiet, and even Hermione and Ginny stopped fighting. "Slytherin House is presenting the muggle musical "West Side Story" in the Great Hall in ten minutes. If you will all please head down there."  
  
The Griffindors headed towards the door, except for Harry and Ginny.  
  
"Aren't you coming?" asked Ron.  
  
"Um... I think we're gonna stay and shag again." Harry whispered as not to provoke Hermione again. "We'll meet ya there."  
  
"Ya know, if I wasn't feeling really goofy I'd beat the snot out of you. But oh well," said Ron walking away.   
  
~***~  
  
All the houses filed into the Great Hall, which had now been turned into a very makeshift auditorium Ron was about to sit down when he felt Hermione tap him on the shoulder.  
  
"Wanna go shag?" she asked.  
  
"No. First of all, you're bald and that's just ugly. Second, I thought you wanted Harry."  
  
"Fair enough. First of all," she paused, pointed her wand at her head, mumbled some spell and her hair came back, only it wasn't hair, it was grass.  
  
"You're a chia pet!!"  
  
"Damnit!"  
  
"Ya know, it beats bald though. But anyway, we still can't shag... you love Harry."  
  
"So? He's with Ginny. You're my second choice."  
  
"I guess that's ok. Harry was my first choice too." and with that Ron and Hemione snuck off for some fun.  
  
They were getting started, when Ron had some 'technical difficulties.' "I think it's the hair. I have allergies to grass"  
  
"I'm suuuuuure that's it" said Hermione. "But whatever the cause, I can fix this." She pulled out her want and pointed it at Ron's crotch. "Wingarnum Leviosa"  
  
  
~***~  
  
Harry and Ginny finished quickly and hurried to the great hall. They ran into Draco Malfoy.  
  
"You go on Ginny, I'll handle him," said Harry, as he watched the redheaded girl run off.  
He turned his attention to Malfoy. "What do you want?"  
  
"I want you to be my lover!"  
  
"How many times must I tell you this Draco, I'm not gay!"  
  
"Not even bi?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"But what about all those fan fics?"  
  
"They're just STORIES. Haven't you ever heard of homoeroticism?"  
  
"Come on Potter. Please? I only want a quickie. I've gotta be on stage playing Maria in 10 minutes anyway."  
  
"NO."  
  
"Damnit!"  
  
"Why don't you try Neville? He could be gay."  
  
"Nah. He's not my type. Besides, he's off shagging Crabbe. Or is that Goyle. I get them confused." He paused. "Hmmmmm... maybe I can see if Do..." Malfoy broke off as if he had said something very inappropriate.   
  
"huh?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"You were gonna say Dobby, weren't you?"  
  
"Yeah. So?" replied Malfoy defensively. "Lots of people use their house elves as sex slaves."  
  
"Woah!"  
  
"It wasn't even all that good. Dobby can be kinky. He knew that dad would get mad if he found out he was doing that sort of stuff with me, so I always had to punish him." A small smile spread across Malfoy's face.  
  
"Way too much information!" said Harry, before running off.  
  
~***~  
  
Should I continue? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review!!! 


	3. chapter 3

A hush fell over the crowd in the Great Hall as the makeshift curtain was lifted. Standing in the spotlight was Professor Snape, dressed as a woman. He began to sing, but the laughter in the crowd was too loud and no one heard him. People in the crowd began to laugh so hard they began to faint.  
  
"Shut up!!!! All of you insolent children!!!" shouted Snape. The crowd grew silent. "Thank you! You know, we have spent the last two hours putting this production together, the least you could do is shut the fuck up!"  
  
He began to sing again, and like clockwork the laughter started.   
  
"That's it!" said the professor, as he pointed his wand to a large group of Hufflepuffs who were rolling on the floor in laughter. "Adevera Kadavea!" and with a green flash of light he killed 10 Hufflepuffs.  
  
"God I hate you kids! I hate this job! I AM A DEATHEATER!!! I've been fighting this internal conflict for too long. The only thing that kept me from going over to the dark side was my love of theater!! Its like therapy, but you little bastards went over the line today!! You people can't appreciate good theater! DIE ALL OF YOU!!!!"  
  
Fortunatly he was subdued by professor McGonalgal. Unfortunately, someone cast a "mud charm" and the two did some mud wrestling before Snape knocked unconscious.  
  
"Take him to Azkaban!" ordered Dumbledore and with that Snape was gone. The Great Hall filled with cheers.  
  
~***~  
  
As everyone celebrated Snape's demise, Harry began to feel a burning in his penis. 'Damn' he thought. 'I know Ginny sleeps around, but I couldn't have gotten an STD that fast!'  
  
But then he began to hear snake like voices. He knew no one else could hear this, he was the only one who was a parsletounge. Then he felt a huge erection and felt as though he was being pulled by his penis. It was an odd sensation, but he followed where his penis seemed to be leading him.  
  
Suddenly the sensation stopped and he was standing right in front of Draco Malfoy.  
  
"I told you I'm not gay!"  
  
Then Draco began to speak what Harry thought was parseltounge, and Harry began to get an erection.  
  
"I thought only I could speak parseltongue!"  
  
"You idiot. I'm not speaking parseltongue, I'm speaking trouser snake."  
  
Harry wanted to stay and shag Malfoy's brains out, but he knew better. It was only the 'trouser snake' talking. So he ran away. "I'm NOT GAY!!!"  
  
  
~***~  
  
Ron and Hermione were lying on the floor of the transfigurations classroom in the afterglow of what Ron thought was amazing sex.  
  
"Was it good for you?" he asked  
  
"eh" she replied rolling over.  
  
"EH?!" yelled Ron, freaking out.  
  
"Well honestly Ron.... It wasn't that big. I've definitely had better."   
  
Ron was silent.  
  
"I'm sorry. I guess you have some pretty big shoes to fill."  
  
"huh?"  
  
"I thought everyone knew. I've been sleeping with professor Snape. He's really goo..." she was interrupted by the sound of Ron's head hitting the floor. He had passed out cold.  
  
~***~  
  
I'm probably gonna end this in the next chapter but I need ideas. Anyway, as always, please review! Thanks so much! 


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